Parkinsons

So last night i came out to my friend james via facebook chat. I was shaking so much i looked like Michael J Fox (title reference), I'm still kinda shaking now. Here is the relevant part of the convo. (i've taken out some names to protect the innocent)

Tommy
my social life is alright. Went to the uni pub with some friends last night. Had a good time. Saw ****** and ******** and one of the **********. had some "words" with some college cunts

hey can i tell you something

James
fuck yea sounds choice bro, what happened with these "words"?? anyone have your back? go on..

Tommy
the words were just silly. I wasnt overly involved it was more my friends. one of my friends knocked a full jug of beer over one of the college kids and they got riled up. it was like 15 angainst 3

James
lol fuck man that sucks. what'd u wanna tell me?

Tommy
i'm gay

James
what?? since when lol

Tommy
lol

James
r u serious??

Tommy
Yeah
suprise

James
wait a sec tommy now lets talk about this...i dont need to know details or anything but like when did u decide this? cause i thought u liked the ladies lol
just cause u might not be a ladies man doesnt mean u wont get any ladies

Tommy
its not that james
i'm still the same person
you're born this way

Ummmm
hope you're alright with it

James
i know that but its kind of a shock. I'm not gonna tell anyone if u wanna keep this between us but yea. well sir ian mckellan is gay and he's one of the best english actors ever

Sidenote : I love that he thought of ian mckellan and he said sir ian. Also i'm nearly in tears (and shaking) while i'm writing this and i dont know why.

Tommy
lol
thanks james
you're the first friend i've really told

James
who else knows?

Tommy
my family knows but yeah
some people i've met in brissie

James
yea? what'd they think

Tommy
ummm
they were ok
i'm going to tell *little brother 1* and *little brother 2* this weekend
if you have any questions just ask

James
r u sure they need to know?
does *older brother* know??

Tommy
yeah
*little brother 1* and *little brother 2* are the only ones that dont know
*older brother* toook it suprisingly well
he was really good about it

James
really lol
i thought he would have been a cunt about it

Sidenote : I really dont use the word cunt a lot

Tommy
me too
but he doesnt seem to mind
and he helped my mum with it as well

James
hmm ok so now you're out of the closet now what? is this like a decision you made or just what u felt?

Tommy
coming out is a decision i made

James
so is it that you don't like women or just that you like dudes?

well I'd still like to think you were the same guy cause i dont wanna have to act like you're a different person

Tommy
i'm still exactly the same person
its not like i'm going to catch a limp wrist or anything

I'm missing a tiny bit of the convo here. Guess i forgot to copy it from facebook to my messenger window (thanks for your help charlie). He said something about my limp wrist joke.

Tommy
dont worry
are you alright with it

James
yea like i can handle it...its just a shock man

Tommy
sorry

James
im trying to process it lol

Tommy
yeah
i understand

James
dont be fucken sorry dude, being who you are isnt something to apologise about, that pisses me off when u have to apologise for being yourself unless you've truly offended someone or done something horribly wrong

Tommy
thanks
if you have any questions dont be afraid to ask

James
ok so...if you were in a club would u be looking out for hot guys lol or what? you've seen zack and miri make a porno right??

Tommy
yeah i've seen that movie
i liked it

Sidenote : Not exactly sure why he bought up that movie but i did like it. I think i need to watch it again

James
and the first question?

Tommy
ummm
i probably wouldnt be looking for anyone
but i'd recognize a hot guy

James
ok then well...are you attracted to women? I'm just trying to figure out if you're really meant to be gay...like not saying its not ok I just wanna know what is going on in your mind exactly.

Tommy
i'm not really attracted to women at all

James
ok so do you wanna end up with a guy as a partner then?

Tommy
i havent really thought about it that much but yeah, i guess so

Sidenote : I figured saying that would be better than saying i'd love a boyfriend to fuck me senseless

James
well you know saying that you're gay is a fucken big commitment mate like I don't take it lightly, and I really think you'd have to know that to go ahead and say it. Like everyone has a few gay thoughts every now and again but it can't just be some phase that you're going thru. Like if u changed your mind and decided that you were straigt then you would have just fucked with everyones minds.
But as long as you're sure this is right for you then I'm happy. Did u talk to anyone before you made this decision?? Because its not like getting a sex change where you have to be psychologically proven to be a woman trapped in a mans body you know.
But i think you're mature enough to have made the right decision tommy, but everyone gets confused about things...
not saying u are man

Tommy
if its a phase its been going on for quite a while

James
ok then so when?

Tommy
i understand your concerns james

James
I just want whats right for you and if thats being gay then so be it. I just don't want it to change the way I think about you...which it shouldnt but yea I can just imagine if the rest of our friends knew I dont know what they'd think like they can be pretty fucken shallow sometimes

Tommy
yeah
i thought you would take it the best
and you're probably the one i'm closest to out of everyone

James
true that

Tommy
so thats why i told you first

James
fair enough well theres no point hiding it man, because it would only make it worse, I think I'm starting to accept it now lol. Like I don't think its a big deal man

Tommy
thanks
i'm still the same person i've always been

James
thats right...like out mates arent that shallow when it comes down to it they're pretty understanding but initially they'd be shocked i suppose

Tommy
yeah
i figure they'd get over it eventually
if they dont it's there problem

James
yea they would
exactly
well man I'm getting pretty tired after all that thinking i thing i need to hit the hay

Tommy
thats alright

James
i'll catcha later mate

Tommy
indeed
we'll catch up soon

James
yea man should be good I was just thinkin we needed to hit the town again soon

Tommy
i know
i havent been clubbing in ages

James
fuck yea well in the next month u will!
but until then take it east bruss

Tommy
lol

James
easy
lol

Tommy
you too

James
Night man

Tommy
lol
night

So that was it. Overall, i think it went well. I guess we'll see how he acts when i see him next.

Hope you have a good easter