Rambling Romantic Rooster

So it's been about a week since i posted and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I'll try to tell you everything that's been happening so i might ramble a bit in this post.

So last saturday i went out clubbing with some friends and some people i kinda know but not really. It was the first time i had seen james since my coming out to him. So i went over to this girls (friend of a friend) house for pre-drinks with everyone. After a while we caught a cab into the valley and we went to The Family. It was my first time going there and i was suprised i got in. It's a pretty nice club but it was kinda dead. I managed to dance up a bit of a storm, badly, but it was fun. After a while we left and went to possibly the best club in the entire of brisbane, The Embassy. Ok so that last thing was a personal opinion but it is a favourite of me and my friends and we usually end up in there at some point of the night if we go out clubbing, even if we dont plan to or say we wont. Also when i use to go out on friday night they had $10 jugs of cocktails which probably explains my fondness for a fruit tingle. Also i love fruit tingles (the fizzy lollies). WOW. So i got a bit sidetracked there but to cut a long story short i went out, had a good time and my sexuality wasnt mentioned once and james seemed fine with me.

So on sunday i woke up early as usual and kinda lazed around a bit and it was very relaxing. Also i dont really get hangovers so that is good.

So i'm not sure if you know this but i am a hopeless romantic. I am a huge romantic even though i dont really have any romance in my life. If you've been reading dans blog (Daily Dan, there should be a link on the side) lately you'll know what i mean when i say i wish something like that would happen to me. It just sounds so great and amazing and i wish him all the best. Also i saw this video on sunday afternoon i think and i thought it was so sweet and it made me well up a little and i wish something like this would happen to me.



Now i have to admit that i dont watch ugly betty. Actually i dont even know if they show it on tv anymore. They use to show it on channel 7 but i havent heard about it for a while.

Anyway, at the start of the week i was feeling depressed. It sounds so silly now. I was having problems with my mum again which seem to have cooled off for now but we'll see. Also i was having a bit of trouble with being single. I know it's stupid but i just want someone to want to be with me. Not just for sex and that. I just want some guy to wrap his arms around me and hold me and want me for me. I know it sounds corny but i've never really had that. I dont need a boyfriend but i think it would be nice.

So i've had uni this week and a fair few assignments and want not. And i've got exams coming up. At least i dont have to worry about work now. so normally i would have worked tuesday afternoon but seeing as i quit i had it off. Lately i have been thinking about going to the queer room at uni (it's actually called the queer room). Anyway, it's just a room for gay, lesbian , bi, trans, etc, etc students
and i think it's where the gay support group meets (or whatever they're called). So i decided that i would go and have a look on tuesday. I was so nervous it felt like my first time going gay clubbing all over again (my heart was beating so fast and that was just at the thought of going). So i walked up the stairs to the room. And i got to the top. And i turned around and walked back down. I chickened out and walked back down the stairs. It was just a room and i couldnt even go in. so i went back to the enginnering library and sat on the gound and hid in my little corner. I just couldnt do it.

Hmmmmm. What else has been happening.
I went to the indian returant down the road with my older brother and his gf the other night. It was my first time there and it tasted really good. However, i dont think i'll be eating indian again. Lets just say i dont think my toilet would appreciate it.

I got a nice message from james the other night saying it was good to see me on the weekend. I'll probably see him at some point this weekend.

My league team lost tonight which sucked but they're still towards the top of the ladder. They've won 4 out of the 6 games this season so hopefully they can keep it up and make the finals. At least they're doing better than the other queensland teams.

A big shout out to princess cause he's awesome.

I heard this song on the radio for the first time in a whil the other day and i remembered how much i liked it, actually how much i like most of her songs. Give it a listen. I think it's pretty good.


Actually i've been hearing a lot of good music lately so i might need to do another music post. Yves Klein Blue, Temper Trap, Bluejuice, Art vs Science and as much as i dont want to admit it i kinda like the new brian mcfadden song.

Anyway that's about it. Long and rambling as promised. I hope it makes sense. If you have any questions dont be afraid to ask, i wont bite. So leave a comment or ask a question on my formspring page (if you wish to be anonomous(link to the side)). Hope you're all well.

P.S. I just remembered DJ spoke to me briefly this morning. it was the first time we talked in months and it was brief and awkward. I dont think i have any feelings for him what so ever.

ALSO: lots of love to charlie cause he really is amazing and he was there for me this week when i was down and he helped me so thank you.

Dilemmas

So phil is coming over to my house for our movie marathon tomorrow. And i'd just like to share this excerpt from our conversation tonight.

Tommy says:
yeah
but i hate to say this
but i kinda get mixed signals from you
maybe its cause i cant read signals
Phil says:
Maybe that's it xD.
Tommy says:
well you could clear it up for me
just so i know
Phil says:
I don't know, hey.
Let's just not define it by anything =]
Tommy says:
ok
well just so you know
i'm fine if you just want to be friends
i'm also fine if you want more
i kinda just wish i knew how you felt
Phil says:
You and me both, buddy.
Tommy says:
ok
i kinda feel silly for bringing it up now
Phil says:
Haha, don't feel silly.
Silliness is overrated.

So that doesn't really clear things up. Maybe he's like DJ. I hope he isn't though.

Also my boss is a bit of a bastard and he's making me start work early and finish late because i'm taking a day off.

And i love ross noble by the way. He's so funny.I'm only mentioning it because he's on tv at the moment

Also have a bit of a dilemma. My sister added me as a friend on facebook. And i dot now if i should accept. I donthave any of my family on there. But maybe i should accept. The thing i worry about is that she'll find the few gay friends i have on there and then she'll tell my mum. And yeah. She'll know what 'm doing and what not.

Should i add her??
P.S. I have 25 followers now. YAY!! thanks every one

DJ Part 3

So this is just going to be a quick post but i thought it deserved its own space.
If you've read some of my older posts you will have heard about DJ. So to cut a long story short DJ lead me on.

So the other night my friend PhD met up with DJ (God help me if any of these people find my blog. They'll all know it's me). And they had sex, which doesn't really bother me, so i think that's a good sign. Apparently DJ is a pretty good kisser but not a great top. And his dick is big, like porn star massive. I already knew this because i had seen a picture/cam but PhD says its bigger than it looks in the picture and it's much thicker (it's probably a good thing i didn't get that close to him). Anyway PhD said he only seems to work and still gave vague, stonewall answers to questions (which i expected). And he had a suprisingly deep voice. Apparently he asked about me but PhD said he couldn't even remember my real name, which shows how much i meant to him. I dont know if PhD will see him again and i dont really care. I no longer have any interest in DJ.

P.S. I did get the vibe that my first meeting with PhD was much better and more exciting, but i dont want to brag.

Being Lead On : The Riveting Finale

Sorry it's so long

So I hadn't talked to DJ for a couple of weeks and had pretty much given up all hope that he'd grow a set of balls and be a man.

Sidenote: I've just remembered that the last time I talked to DJ he called me creepy cause I talked to much about wanting to meet him. That annoyed me. I was like of course I want to meet you. We've talked about dating and taking my virginity and lots of other things and you've stood me up twice. I want to know if you're all talk or if we'll actually end up meeting.

So I'd had told my internet friends about my plane to not pursue. Bronco then told me that one of his friends use to date DJ (maybe it was a friend of a friend). Anyway, Bronco told me that DJ was all talk and he lies about all these things etc, etc. I was like yeah I kinda figured he was more talk then action. A few days later I was talking to PhD. I asked him about DJ and when he had last talked to him. He said he had talked to him when he was on the coast. This was about the same time I last talked to him. Anyway, apparently DJ had been trying to get PhD to meet him. PhD said what about Tommy and DJ told him that he thought I was more friendship material. Not the impression I had got from my convo's with DJ. Anywho, PhD had said that DJ had to tell me that and some other stuff. Good to know that PhD was looking out for me.

So fast forward to a couple of days ago. I was on msn and DJ was on also. I couldn't decide whether to talk to him or not but in the end I decided to be civil. I mean it was his birthday. Here's how the conversation started.
Tommy
Hey you
Happy Birthday
DJ
i see you didn't wait for me..... . . .. .
brb dinner

Thats how the conversation went. No thanks. No Hello. (the brb thing happened quite a bit too). Anyway, I asked him what he meant and he said he'd heard about my boyfriend from PhD.

Sidenote: Yes I do have a boyfriend. I dont think i've mentioned him but from now on he shall be known as Abs not Flab, or sexy abs. I can't decide. It's only new so I dont want to ruin anything. I'll talk more about him later.

So PhD had let it slip about sexy abs. Apparently DJ had been talking about wanting to meet PhD and he had said I dont see a problem with that now the tommy has a boyfriend. I'm kinda glad he told him because it saved me doing it. The conversation just got awkward after that. PhD said he was thinking about meeting DJ. I said go for it. It might turn out better for you then it did for me.

So The other night I went to see Avatar (more about that later) with PhD. I asked him if he was still going to meet DJ. He told me that he had made tentative plans to meet DJ that day but that DJ had cancelled. hmmm sounds familiar I thought to myself. PhD said he wasn't going to pursue it further.

In conclusion I dont like guys like DJ

Anyway, Sorry its such a long story. Hope it makes sense. I'll keep you updated on any new developments. Feel free to leave a comment and i'll get back to you.

Being Lead On

So this happened to me a while ago but I decided to mention it because of recent developments.
Now i'm sure everyone has been lead on or lead people on. I'm probably guilty of leading people on myself. But what annoys me is those attention hunting whores who string people along on purpose, for fun. Playing and toying with people's hearts. They're bastards.

So a while ago this guy called DJ was trying to talk to me online. I turned him down for a couple of weeks due to things/people in my life. Anyway, I eventually decided to give him a go. He was really nice and charming and interesting and I was infatuated with him after not long. So we talked a fair bit about lots of things. Mainly to do with him because I seemed to have to drive the conversation. He was very charming and we talked about dating and lots of other stuff and we set up a time to see each other. I was really looking forward to our date but he cancelled on me (my general rule is you only get to stand me up once. If you stand me up a second time i'm going to move on). Apparently he was sick so I forgave him. We talked later that day. The same time our cancelled date would have been. He was still very charming and nice. Although I did say if you dont want to meet me just tell me and i'll leave you alone. To which he replied I didn't say i wanted to meet you I said I wanted to date you. Charming right.

Anyway we organised another date for the day after my exams finished. I couldn't wait for it and he knew given that my msn screenname was "I cant wait for the ......."
So we kept talking but he was really busy with work so we didn't talk for about a week before our planned date. I sent him many messages and and even an email or two but got no replies. So I finished all my exams and the day of our date came. And I sat at home waiting to hear from him. NOTHING. I was ready to rip him a new arsehole. I didn't hear from until about 2 o'clock that day, when he was online on facebook. GAHH. I was so angry and I let him know. He had excuses though and I kinda forgave him a bit.

Sidenote: I had told some of my internet friends about DJ. My friend whom I shall call princess (more about him later) had warned me about him almost immediately, even though he (princess)lives in Melbourne which is thousands of kilometers away. In hindsight I probably should have listened to him. DJ had also added one of my other friends on msn a little while after we started talking. My friend, whom shall henceforth be known as PhD, had let DJ know that he knew me from the beginning. My other internet friend that plays a part in this story shall be known as Bronco. He doesn't come into this story till later on.

So DJ had excuses and I forgave him a bit, stupid in hindsight. So I continued to start conversations with DJ but they were kinda awkward. After a while I got annoyed with it and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't start conversations with any guys. If they started them I would, of course, talk but I wouldn't be the persuer.
So the last time I talked to him was in late november. We talked about his work and if he was having fun on the coast (where he was working) and some other stuff. But then I got annoyed with him and stopped starting conversations.

END PART ONE...