KINKY!!!!

And my terrible choice in guys continues. I dont know what it is but i seem to attract the wrong guys. All i want is a nice guy who is sweet and charming and wants me as much as i want him. Instead I get crappy ones. Let me use a list to demonstrate.
~The guy that had a boyfriend i didn't know about (until i found out in the worst possible way)
~The guy that said he would rape me
~The guy that was ignoring me, but apparently not ignoring me, who's now gone back to ignoring me after saying he doesnt want a boyfriend, only friends with benefits
~The guy that wanted to train me as his submissive
~The guy that wants to spank and cane me while i am in a school uniform (i'll admit the schoolboy fantasy could be good but i dont know about the pain)
~The guy that wanted me to dominate him
~The guy that was into pain, humiliation and puppy play (i was like oh, fuck when he said tasers)
Not to mention all my other failures such as phil and awkward silence guy (so they're not really bad guys but they didnt turn out the way i had hoped either).

I dont know what it is but something about my manhunt profile must scream kinky. I dont know what it is, but it must be there. I just attract kinky guys. But here's the thing. I have to meet guys on the internet, to start with at least. Like i can't meet gay guys by accident or anything, it just doesn't happen.
Case in point - I'm talking to phil the other night and he was like guess what happenned to me the yesterday. I was like what. And he said, the guy behind me in a lecture the other day passed me a note saying he liked my pants and asking where i got them and we kept passing notes back and forth and he asked me to add him to facebook. I was like that would never happen in any of my lectures. And i mean it, i can't even imagine that happening in my classes. It was like bronco and the random guy in queen street all over again.

And the other day i was at the uni bar and i saw these gay guys (i dont have a very good gaydar but i think it was a fair guess). Now i would never even consider going up to them and just talking. Or anything like that. I just couldn't do it. If they started talking to me i might have a conversation but even thats not for sure.

So yeah, the moral of todays rant is i suck at being gay.

And now for some explaining on the last post. Yes it was a letter to myself. It didnt exactly come out the way i had planned in my head but it was a good idea at the time. I wasn't having a go at anyone with my first paragraph. It was just a little joke about how i hadnt been asked any questions. I know i have readers and i know people leave comments and i'm very grateful for that. I was trying to look at my life from 2 different perspectives and i thought it would be a good idea to know how i was feeling so i could come back and look at it in the future. So in like a year or something i could see how far i had progressed. That's all.

As always comments are appreciated. If you want to ask me anythign the link is on the side. Have a good day

Man-date (and other random things)

So last night i went on a man-date with my friend Bronco. This was the first time we'd actually met so i was a bit nervous but i had lots of fun. He picked me up and we went and had these massive burgers at garden city then we went to see Bran Nue Dae. It was a pretty good movie but that ending was like WTF?! Now i'm glad is was just a man-date and not a date date because i dont think i could have handled that.
(Man-date : A date between two male friends with a plutonic relationship, see also bromantic :P) We got along really well and chatted about tonnes of different things so it was a good night.

In other news a couple of posts ago i mentioned that some guy wanted me to be his "master". Thats not going to happen because that guy is fucking weird. I was willing to give it a try to a certain extent but then he mentioned tasers and whipping and i was like "Oh Fuck". The stuff he was saying made me want to vomit. I dont think i'll ever talk to him again.

I need a new computer. The one i have is falling apart

I've come to the decision that my mum will know i am of the male persuasion by the end of the month at the latest. I want her to know and i think it will make some things easier. Unfortunately i kinda have to make a big deal out of it because she's asked me about my sexuality before and i denied it.

I've made a new friend who shall go by the name phil. We get along really well and have big long conversations on msn. It's just easy to chat to him, he's around my age and goes tothe same uni as me. I think i'm meeting him friday. We've kinda planned an epic day of epicness so i'll let you know how it goes. He also wants to take me to the beat sometime. I've never been before so it should be interesting. (the beat is like the main gay club in brisbane)

Work is boring and really busy.

So thats my life at the moment. I'll keep you updated

Give me an oscar already

So i pulled a sickie at work again yesterday and finished at 11:30. My performance (title reference :P) must have been better than i thought because i even had the production manager and owner convinced. I'm pretty sure i'll stick out a full day today though.

I've still been thinking about coming out a lot. I've decided that sometime soon i'm just going to ring my mum and tell her that i'm gay. Then she can tell my dad. I dont think i will tell my 2 little brothers either. I dont think they're mature enough yet. Also i have no idea how/when to come out to my friends. The thing is i guess i dont really have any super close friends. I also have different groups of friends. I have my uni friends, Who i dont think i'll ever tell. I know them and they're nice but i dont think they'll accept it. the thing is i see them everyday so :$. I also have my friends from high school. i dont see them as often as i'd like but there are a few of them down here. I'd really like to tell my friend james first. I'm probably closest to him but i dont know how he'll take it. Well i have ideas and i'm pretty sure he'll start by saying WTF?!. I also have my gay friends who i've met through manhunt so i dont need to tall them. Anyways, i'll keep you updated.

i wanked three times yesterday but i think thats acceptable because i was super horny. i'm not going to say where stuff went but it was very messy.

I'm pretty sure i'm going to see my boyfriend this weekend. He seems really up for it and my house is going to be empty all weekend (thank you Big Day Out). I told him to let me know when he's available and we'll do whatever he wants to do. i also told him that if he comes over he should bring his speedos so we can relax in our kiddies pool (i also want to see him in speedo's *blush*).

i also want to give a big shoutout to Aaron from beautifool chaos. He's not blogging at the moment but he's still around. When i started blogging i certainly didn't expect to find anyone else in brissie. Well i've been chatting to Aaron a bit and it turns out he works at the uni i attend. he's pretty nice too. I suggest you go read all his old posts. He mentioned the other night that he might come back to blogging so keep an eye out for him. Also he found me on an internet "dating" site the other night but i didn't know it was him. I wont tell you what his user name is but i will tell you that he has some nice pictures. From what i've seen.

Also, I've been trying to help out my friend bronco. He's been having some guy troubles lately so i've been trying to keep him in a good mood. I told him that i used to have a little crush on him and he said he used to have a little crush on me. This took me by suprise because i never thought he was interested. What can i say, i'm bad at reading signals. Anyways, i still kinda have a little crush on him though i like sexy abs much much more.

Well thats what has been happening. Sorry its a bit all over the shop.

P.S. I have slept a little better lately. I have the fan beside my bed on full bore and i might have slept naked once or twice (thanks Dzyan ;) ). Anyways. That's me

Random Picking Up and my boring day

So I thought I should do a proper post instead of just the youtube videos. As i'm writing this i'm talking to my friend bronco (though he doesn't know i'm writing this). Some guy just hit on him in queen street mall the other day and now they have a date for tomorrow night. Can you even imagine that. For starters there is no way i'd be brave enough to talk to a hot, cute stranger while shopping. Also i wouldn't consider myself a great flirter. I dont think i've ever been hit on (well maybe once). It's probably cause i'm not that attractive (and dont listen to sexy abs cause he's biased). I can't even imagine what i would do if it actually happpened. I'd probably be a little freaked out. We're also talking about New Years Eve and the fact i drank a whole bottle of vodka. No hangover, no vomit. I didn't even feel drunk. It was kinda awesome.

Anywho

I had a relatively boring day. I realised this morning that i have to stop wanking so much. I really do it too much and its not good. And i take a while to cum as well so it takes up a fair chunk of my time (and not to mention my internet downloads).
Went to work, wasn't a great day. Though i did learn something new which can't hurt. Came home and made a honey, sesame and garlic stir fry for dinner. It turned out better than i expected. I wouldn't say i am an exceptional cook though i do alright. I can do some things really well, like roast. I make a really good roast dinner. The last one was roast kangaroo or maybe it was roast pork, i can't remember. I can also do a pretty good carbonara and some other stuff. My brother and his girlfriend got me the masterchef cookbook for christmas. Which if you seen it is completely pointless. I dont think i'm ever going to make slow cooked pidgeon or roast half pig head (these are seriously some of the recipes).so i made my stirfry and sat down to watch my one of my favourite shows, How I Met Your Mother. It was a repeat but still a good episode. Thats pretty much my entire day. All in all it's relatively boring (although work had some interesting points, there's so much sexual innuendo it's not funny).

So thanks for reading and i'm sorry for rambling. I always want to do proper grammar and punctuation in these things but I kinda forget about it once i start typing. Like I just did with the capital I in the last sentence. :)



OK so one more video can't hurt. I love HIMYM

Being Lead On : The Riveting Finale

Sorry it's so long

So I hadn't talked to DJ for a couple of weeks and had pretty much given up all hope that he'd grow a set of balls and be a man.

Sidenote: I've just remembered that the last time I talked to DJ he called me creepy cause I talked to much about wanting to meet him. That annoyed me. I was like of course I want to meet you. We've talked about dating and taking my virginity and lots of other things and you've stood me up twice. I want to know if you're all talk or if we'll actually end up meeting.

So I'd had told my internet friends about my plane to not pursue. Bronco then told me that one of his friends use to date DJ (maybe it was a friend of a friend). Anyway, Bronco told me that DJ was all talk and he lies about all these things etc, etc. I was like yeah I kinda figured he was more talk then action. A few days later I was talking to PhD. I asked him about DJ and when he had last talked to him. He said he had talked to him when he was on the coast. This was about the same time I last talked to him. Anyway, apparently DJ had been trying to get PhD to meet him. PhD said what about Tommy and DJ told him that he thought I was more friendship material. Not the impression I had got from my convo's with DJ. Anywho, PhD had said that DJ had to tell me that and some other stuff. Good to know that PhD was looking out for me.

So fast forward to a couple of days ago. I was on msn and DJ was on also. I couldn't decide whether to talk to him or not but in the end I decided to be civil. I mean it was his birthday. Here's how the conversation started.
Tommy
Hey you
Happy Birthday
DJ
i see you didn't wait for me..... . . .. .
brb dinner

Thats how the conversation went. No thanks. No Hello. (the brb thing happened quite a bit too). Anyway, I asked him what he meant and he said he'd heard about my boyfriend from PhD.

Sidenote: Yes I do have a boyfriend. I dont think i've mentioned him but from now on he shall be known as Abs not Flab, or sexy abs. I can't decide. It's only new so I dont want to ruin anything. I'll talk more about him later.

So PhD had let it slip about sexy abs. Apparently DJ had been talking about wanting to meet PhD and he had said I dont see a problem with that now the tommy has a boyfriend. I'm kinda glad he told him because it saved me doing it. The conversation just got awkward after that. PhD said he was thinking about meeting DJ. I said go for it. It might turn out better for you then it did for me.

So The other night I went to see Avatar (more about that later) with PhD. I asked him if he was still going to meet DJ. He told me that he had made tentative plans to meet DJ that day but that DJ had cancelled. hmmm sounds familiar I thought to myself. PhD said he wasn't going to pursue it further.

In conclusion I dont like guys like DJ

Anyway, Sorry its such a long story. Hope it makes sense. I'll keep you updated on any new developments. Feel free to leave a comment and i'll get back to you.

Being Lead On

So this happened to me a while ago but I decided to mention it because of recent developments.
Now i'm sure everyone has been lead on or lead people on. I'm probably guilty of leading people on myself. But what annoys me is those attention hunting whores who string people along on purpose, for fun. Playing and toying with people's hearts. They're bastards.

So a while ago this guy called DJ was trying to talk to me online. I turned him down for a couple of weeks due to things/people in my life. Anyway, I eventually decided to give him a go. He was really nice and charming and interesting and I was infatuated with him after not long. So we talked a fair bit about lots of things. Mainly to do with him because I seemed to have to drive the conversation. He was very charming and we talked about dating and lots of other stuff and we set up a time to see each other. I was really looking forward to our date but he cancelled on me (my general rule is you only get to stand me up once. If you stand me up a second time i'm going to move on). Apparently he was sick so I forgave him. We talked later that day. The same time our cancelled date would have been. He was still very charming and nice. Although I did say if you dont want to meet me just tell me and i'll leave you alone. To which he replied I didn't say i wanted to meet you I said I wanted to date you. Charming right.

Anyway we organised another date for the day after my exams finished. I couldn't wait for it and he knew given that my msn screenname was "I cant wait for the ......."
So we kept talking but he was really busy with work so we didn't talk for about a week before our planned date. I sent him many messages and and even an email or two but got no replies. So I finished all my exams and the day of our date came. And I sat at home waiting to hear from him. NOTHING. I was ready to rip him a new arsehole. I didn't hear from until about 2 o'clock that day, when he was online on facebook. GAHH. I was so angry and I let him know. He had excuses though and I kinda forgave him a bit.

Sidenote: I had told some of my internet friends about DJ. My friend whom I shall call princess (more about him later) had warned me about him almost immediately, even though he (princess)lives in Melbourne which is thousands of kilometers away. In hindsight I probably should have listened to him. DJ had also added one of my other friends on msn a little while after we started talking. My friend, whom shall henceforth be known as PhD, had let DJ know that he knew me from the beginning. My other internet friend that plays a part in this story shall be known as Bronco. He doesn't come into this story till later on.

So DJ had excuses and I forgave him a bit, stupid in hindsight. So I continued to start conversations with DJ but they were kinda awkward. After a while I got annoyed with it and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't start conversations with any guys. If they started them I would, of course, talk but I wouldn't be the persuer.
So the last time I talked to him was in late november. We talked about his work and if he was having fun on the coast (where he was working) and some other stuff. But then I got annoyed with him and stopped starting conversations.

END PART ONE...