Am I Bovered

I feel like i have so much to say but i can't say it, if that makes sense. Anyway, here's some music. I really wanted the new lisa mitchell song but i couldn't find a video. I think it's called Oh Heart but i dont know.







Nonsensical title for the win. Bonus points if you get it, it's not that hard

Where's my torch, I'm heading back in

So i'm just about to go back to uni, which i'm really looking forward to. This week is O(rgasm) week and next week classes start. So i'm going to be withdrawing back into the closet a bit. In the real world at least. Now it's not like i'm a flaming queen or anything but i have been more open over the holidays. Now that i'm going back to uni i guess i'll go back to what i normally do at uni. Now dont get me wrong my friends are nice people and some of them would be fine if i told them i was gay (I think). But i dont make friends easily and i think i'd rather stay with the friends i have then have no friends at all (that probably sounds stupid). I had so much to say and now i can't remember any of it. My brother and his girlfriend are currently in Fiji so i'm at home by myself. I've been cleaning and getting all my uni stuff organised. I'm going to try and be organised this year, instead of just having big piles of things.

Now that i'm going back to uni i probably wont be posting as much but i will try to do one a week. Unless i'm procrastinating

Olympic Pipe Dreams

I dont think i've mentioned this but i LOVE the winter olympics. I actually think i prefer them to the summer olympics. Unfortunately for me channel 9's coverage really sucks so i dont get to see much of it. So at the moment australia has one silver medal. Now i think that's pretty good for the driest country on earth. We're meant to get some more medals though. We've got Torah Bright and all those ariel skiers so we should pick up at least another medal. Now i have to say this. I really, really, really want to do curling. I just think it's awesome. Last year they had a poster up for it at uni. And i was like yeah lets go try it to all my friends. And they all said it was stupid. So i bowed to peer pressure and didn't do it. curling is done in boondall in brisbane which is a fair way away from me but i still want to do it. Also, and this will sound stupid, but i figure that there aren't many curlers (i assume thats what they're called) in australia. And therefore my chances of representing australia aren't that bad, especially if i am half decent. Ok so i know that probably wont happen but how awesome would it be to say i'm an australia curler. Or even just queensland. I just think it would be a great game to play. And if that fails i guess i'll just try out for lawn bowls at the commonwealth games.

:P

Worst. Date. Ever

So today i went on a date with a guy. It was my worst experience so far since i've been dating. So i got ready, shaved and what not. Then i got dressed (no skinny jeans, i'm glad i didn't wear them. I think it would have made it more awkward for me). So i picked him up and he was different then i expected. I knew his height and what not but i always have a hard time visualising what people will look like. He was ummm chunkier then i expected. Now i want to make things clear. I'm not really a vain person. I would be hypocritical with my looks. Now i have dated overweight guys before. And as long as you're not obese you're in with a shot. But i guess his looks did through me off a little. So we went back to the city and parked at southbank then went to queen street for lunch. After lunch we went to the cinemas and saw percy jackson and the lightning thief. He kinda tried sitting close to me and what not but i didn't really respond. I just wasn't feeling it. Then after the movie i drove him back home. Now we spent over four hours together today but in that time i reckon if all our conversation was put together you'd have about 20 minutes of talking, 30 if you are lucky. It was a very awkward, silent date for me. So I drove him home and we stopped outside his place and he leaned over to kiss me and i hesitated. I didnt really want to do it but i did. It was just a quick peck on the lips (oh his 6 year old cousin was outside his place which made it more awkward. i dont know if he saw the kiss though). Then he said we'll do it again some time? And i very quietly said yeah. I just didnt know what to say. So when i was driving back home i got a message from him. It said i hope you had fun today. I felt bad. I should have sent him a message when i left his place but i didnt. So i got home and sent him a message. I want to do the right thing by him so i sent him this message.

Hey. I had a good time today and you're a really nice guy but i dont think we should be more than friends. I hope you understand.

I havent got a reply yet. so that was my awkward silent date. Plenty more fish in the see i guess.

P.S. simpsons reference FTW

I have a date

So yay for me. I have a date tomorrow. He seems really nice and he seems to like me. We've been texting a fair bit so i hope it goes well tomorrow. I have no idea what to wear though. I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow

Religious Epiphanies

First things first
Thank you to the people that sent me valentines cards. They made me smile so thank you.

So this past weekend i went back to visit the family. It was good. My sister was there whch suprised me. Saturday night i went to a bit of a party for my friends 20th. A couple of friends and i went to his families house and lots of his family was there then after a while we went to a pub in town. The bartender, who we know, found out is was my friends birthday and gave us some very generous drinks for him. The aim was to get him smashed. then we walked through the maccas drive through on our way to another pub that stays open later. This pub was dead and it just wasnt very fun. So we left the pub at 1am and got on the courtesy bus. Didn't getback to my friends place till 2. It was a pretty good night and it was good to see some of my friend again.

On sunday morning i went to church, kinda. So my littlest brother goes to a religious private school and this year he is a school captain. So on the sunday they had a bit of a ceremony for them and everything. Now my family is not really religious at all (i guess i would call myself agnostic). The last time i went to church would have ben nearly 12 yeas ago for my littlest brothes christening. I think i'm good for another twelve years. Now some of the points had merit but it was so over the top. Aparently i am a light and i need to shine brightly in the darkness for others like jesus. And all my sins hve been forgiven so thats good. My sister and my dad had a bit of a hard time controlling themselves.

So that was my weekend

This boy's in love

It's friday. That means clubbing music. The presets are so good. I prefer the second song but i just had to post the first one.

Men and friends and valentines

I have never had a valentine. Its true. I'm 19 years old and i've never even recieved a mystery card. This year i will be spending valentines day with the family. I'm going back to see them for the first time since i came out. So i'm kinda nervous and i dont know what will happen. I'm hoping nothing because both my little brothers will be there and neither of them know. But i do know that i wont be staying up late to watch tv because then i will have to talk to my mum, and yeah.

I also went out last night with friends from uni. It was good to see them again and i had fun. We went to the fox for a couple of drinks then we went to the down under club in the city. It was just nice to spend time with them socially and talk about crap and feel like one of the group. However, i wont be coming out to them any time soon. In reality i probably wont come out to them ever. They're nice people but i dont want to spend the rest of my uni years alone. I dont think they'd take it well.

Work has been so dead lately. We have pretty much nothing to do which means crap jobs like cleaning for me. But we always have really great discussions at work about lots of different random things such as horses, gambling, sport, politics, religion, sex and the law. The other day we were talking about prince charming syndrome. One of the girls at work suffers from prince charming syndrome. She's old fashioned and she expects some rich, handsome guy to come and sweep her off her feet. Its just not going to happen. This lead on to us talking about marriage. Now this really got me thinking. I mean will i ever find a guy that loves me and wants to be with me forever? Would we even be able to get married? Do i even want to get married? What would our wedding look like? Does one of us have to wear white? Work was boring so my mind just kept wandering. I've never really thought about marriage before, I mean i dont even know if it will happen. I need to meet a guy first i guess.
P.S. I dont suffer from prince charming syndrome. Its called being realistic.

Lately i've been talking to more guys than i usually do. Some of them are really nice, including the guy with the eyes, some of them are just after action. I dont see it happeing soon but i'd really love a boyfriend. Someone to snuggle with and keep me company, not just sex. One guy seemed quite intereste in me but i dont think the feeling is mutual. He seemed very stereotypically gay. Which i dont really go for. I guess i should talk to him more though.

Also a big thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. If you havent left a comment but have some advice go back and leave a comment. Lets face it, i need all the help i can get.

Thats all :P (sorry it was a bit all over the place)

Virginity

So i've been thinking about this for a while. And while i dont see it happenning any time soon i figure i should be getting prepared for it. So i've never been a bottom before and i'm just wondering. How do you prepare for? What's the best position for your first time? How fast or slow do you go?

There's so much i dont know and any help you can give would be appreciated.

hmmm

So i've decided not to post the story of my sex the other night. I have written it but i dont think i'll post it. It might come back to bite me. However, If you do wnt to read what i wrote i guess i could email it to yo. Just let me know.

I've been chattig to some new guys as well. They seem nice enough but i dont know if i'll meet them in person. All in allmy life is pretty boring

Please Help

I want everyone to go over to CoolCharlie loves his life and leave him comments telling him how great and amazing and brilliant he is.

If he gets enough comments i'll tell you about my sex the other night.

Go NOW!!

He really needs the support

It's official

So i talked to phil last night. And i said someting about wanting a boyfriend. And he said he wanted a boyfriend. then he said i know you really like me, butyou d=just want to be friends y'know. I said i dont know if i really like you :P But i had knda hope you would like me but i knew it would't happen. And he said i'd still like to be friends with you. You're a pretty cool cat. And i said of course i still want to be friends wth you. And to be honest i'm kinda already getting over you.

So thats that. I have a new friends in phil. And hopefully someday soon i'll meet a great guy that'll sweep me off my feet and we'll fall in love (i dont see it happening though).

Thats all

P.S. I had sex last night *blush*
but i dont think you guys are interested in hearing about that (the again i could be wrong)

Let me live vicariously

So this is my very small update on phil and my life.

So phil came over the other night and i'm 99.99% sure that we're just going to be friends. We had fun but nothing happened. We watched our movies, he taught me to knit and we just hung out. He met my brother briefly and my brother seemed to like him. Apparently Phil reminded my brother of clark kent. My brother also asked me, ever so politely, "did you get some?". No i didn't get anything.
I've decided to talk to phil a bit less, instead of pretty much everynight. I thought of trying to make him jealous but i dont think it would work.

In other news:
I had a rather awkward conversaion with my brothers girlfriend yesterday. It was about my sexuality. We've never really talked about it before and it was just weird. I know she was trying to be nice but i dont feel that comfortable with her. Also we were watching So You Think You Can Dance Australia last night. It was her choice not mine (i told her as soon as i heard the word journey i was changing the channel). Then she asked me if any of my friends liked the show ( i knew she meant my gay friends. I dont have that many). I was like i dont know. And then she was like i reckon they would (mmmmm stereotypes). I didn't say anything.

Also, Big news.
I bought my frst ever pair of skinny jeans yesterday. This is kinda a big deal. I always said i would never wear skinny jeans but now i own a pair. They're just a plain black pair so i hope they look alright on me. I think i need to get used to them. I wont be wearing them to uni though. I also bought a new shirt and some new undies. I dont want to sound up myself but i tihnk the undies look pretty good on me.

One last thing.
A big big shoutout to my stalker charlie. There's a link to his blog on the side. I wont say too much but we have some freaky coincidences in our lives. Cool Charlie may also be able to tell you if my new undies look good on me, or maybe not. He's such a closet size queen :P (you should know i'm joking aout charlie. He's really nice and not at all weird)

I WANT A GUITAR BOAT!!

Time for another episode of Tommy's random musical stylings

This song is just so sweet. I want a guitar boat.


There's something about this song that i just like, but I dont know what it is.


I love the intro to this song. Actually the sound of the whole song in general


This video pretty much sums up my dancing abiity, or lack thereof. I can pull out a good sprinker from time to time though


I prefer the second to the first but they're both good.



And some short stack to finish off. I quite like their songs


I will do a post on everythng thats been happening later. I promise

He doesn't like me

It's nearly 3.30am and phil has just left. I think the title says it all

Dilemmas

So phil is coming over to my house for our movie marathon tomorrow. And i'd just like to share this excerpt from our conversation tonight.

Tommy says:
yeah
but i hate to say this
but i kinda get mixed signals from you
maybe its cause i cant read signals
Phil says:
Maybe that's it xD.
Tommy says:
well you could clear it up for me
just so i know
Phil says:
I don't know, hey.
Let's just not define it by anything =]
Tommy says:
ok
well just so you know
i'm fine if you just want to be friends
i'm also fine if you want more
i kinda just wish i knew how you felt
Phil says:
You and me both, buddy.
Tommy says:
ok
i kinda feel silly for bringing it up now
Phil says:
Haha, don't feel silly.
Silliness is overrated.

So that doesn't really clear things up. Maybe he's like DJ. I hope he isn't though.

Also my boss is a bit of a bastard and he's making me start work early and finish late because i'm taking a day off.

And i love ross noble by the way. He's so funny.I'm only mentioning it because he's on tv at the moment

Also have a bit of a dilemma. My sister added me as a friend on facebook. And i dot now if i should accept. I donthave any of my family on there. But maybe i should accept. The thing i worry about is that she'll find the few gay friends i have on there and then she'll tell my mum. And yeah. She'll know what 'm doing and what not.

Should i add her??
P.S. I have 25 followers now. YAY!! thanks every one