Saturday, January 30, 2010

I'm scared

So i've never been to the beat before. The beat is like the gay club in brissie btw.
So i've never been to the beat before and now phil has asked me to go tomorrow night. Well tonight actually given how late i'm writing this. And he helped me pick out an outfit via webcam but i dont know if i'll go. He said he was going with friends so i dont want to interrupt or interfere or be a burden. I've never been there before and i'm really scared about going. It's not like i'm attractive and i cant dance. And the thing is because phil is having pre drinks at a friends place i'd have to meet him there. And that scares me. what happens if he doesn't turn up. what happens if people i know are in the valley and pass me lining up to get into the beat. If i had someone to go with i'd be fine. But i'm really going there alone. I have no one to have pre-drinks with. No one to sit with me on the train. No one to stand with me in line. Heck i dont even know if i'll be able to find the beat or phil. Oh, and it would be at like 11.30pm. which is pretty early but still. I'd be on a late night train by myself. He suggested i go with some one. But who. I dont really have anyone to take me to the beat besides him. he suggested bronco but i dont think that'll happen. I just wish things were easier.

BTW i think i know how i feel about phil.


  1. He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't want you there. That being said, I can see how such an expedition could be daunting. What you ahve to think about is, how much are you prepared to risk for this guy?

    Sounds like you might be tring for the long haul, so the odd risk is that bad of a thing.

    If it's not what I am thinking, then is absolutely no harm or shame in blowing the whole thing off.

    Only you can decide.

    Courage and Honour!


  2. Hello, First if he really wants to see you then just explain your worries and go together another time.

    Second. To get my neighbors off my back about not ever going out, I went to the local gay bar one night. The guy I met that night was the best looking guy I had ever seen. This October we will have been together 20 years, and each day is better than the last. To think I almost did not go because it was not what I was into!
    Best wish in what ever you decided to do.

  3. Hi T! Going to talk to your followers first... (If that’s ok)...Octavius: I love your closing phase... Courage and Honour! I agree without them there is now meaning in life... I should have them tattooed on me... And to Scottie... If I could be as lucky as you... 20 years... congrats and I hope it goes for another 100 years... awesome...
    Well T... I know the Wickham and the Beat... lol never been in them ...but walked past them, like a zillion times... :)
    Anyways... click you fingers and make it so... tell Phil to meet you before he goes in... he is going to understand... especially being in the line-up... meet at Maccas or somewhere... there one in Wickham street in the valley.. You can have drink and a perv before you go.. Always fun especially on a Saturday night at that Maccas... lol... I'm sure if you tell Phil your nervous and never been to the Beat before he will understand and meet you... you will also perhaps get to meet his friends first there and break the ice... But if he can’t meet you before... don't read anything in to it as he may have agreed to something with his friends that make it impossible... so you will have to work with him a bit... but at least this way if you don’t go he will know why and I think he will care enough to not let it be like this the next time you go out.... well that’s my thought... anyways...
    ttyl CC

  4. Hey... I (we your devoted followers) want a photo of the outfit...hehe even if you dont go... we can all be fashionistas... :)

  5. I've never been to any gay clubs although ranga boy (my friend) wants to bring me to Fluffy Night at Family. Lol! It's going to be OK.


Web Stats