OOH LA LA LA

So i'm not in the best of moods today. I can't stop thinking about phil but i know i should because i'm overthinking it and just makin things worse. Hopefully i'll get to talk to him tonight. We're meant to be seein each other this week for our movie marathon so fingers crossed that goes well. I haven't really gotte out of my bed today and i don plan too. So yeah

Watch these







I really like this song (but this is the best video i could find for it)

i also wanted to put hurricane by faker up here but i couldn't find one to embed from youtube.

I dont think he likes me

:(

So i have just returned form clubbin wit phil and his friends. I though i would do this post while still suffering frm alcohol and sleep deprevation.

I dont think he likes me. I got in there he introduced me to his friends at that was it. Thatwas pretty much all the attention i got from him all night. I dont know what i was expecting but t didn't happen. I probably spent more time with his lesbian friend. She asked me what my intentions were with phil. I said it wa up to him. but do you like him. yes. then we talked about uni and work and what not. I didn't get any signals from him at all and him and his friend seem to be very...umm...comfortable wit each othr. So yeah. i dont know. Maybe he'll be different n tuesday whene watch movies and his friends aren't there. I dont know.
I'm fine with friends if thats all hew wabnts.But i just wish i knew.

:S

The Big 5-0

Wow.

This is my 50th post. When i started this blog i didn't expect anyone to read it or comment on it and i certainly didn't expect to find bloggers in the same town as me. A big thank you to everyone. xoxo

And to thank you here are some facts about me. Lets see if i can get 50. I'm pretty boring and i hate talking about myself but I'll try.

1) My real name is not Tommy
2) I'm 19
3) I'm a Virgo
4) I have blue eyes
5) lots of people (gay guys) say i should straighten my hair
6) I got my first job at 14
7) I went overseas twice on high school trips
8) I paid for both trips by myself in full
9) I use to play the fife
10) I use to play the glockenspiel
11) I have never kissed a girl
12) I had my first sexual experience at 16
13) I lost my virginity at 17
14) I love watching tv
15) I love eating fruit
16) I am fussy when it comes to what vegetables i eat
17) I got an OP of 5
18) I moved to brisbane for uni
19) I was in a leadership position at highschool
20) I dont like beer (however i think australian beer is better than new zealand beer)
21) I can ski
22) I can't snowboard
23) I have never read twilight
24) I dont plan on ever reading twilight
25) I'm tall
26) I have big feet
27) I prefer cats to dogs
28) I dont like lamb chops
29) I used to paint and draw
30) I can iron and do all my own washing
31) I own a car (it's a piece of shit)
32) I'd love to travel the world
33) I have a small underwear fetish (it's not THAT weird)
34) I have had 2 official boyfriends
35) I've never really had a serious relationship
36) I have never tried sushi
37) I can ride a horse
38) I dont like tequila
39) I dont have many great friends (I once had a girl tell me it was weird to see me outside of school)
40) I have never owned a gaming console (no wii, nintendo, xbox or playstation)
41) I own a giant fluffy dice and giant poker chip
42) I have never watched a full horror movie (I kinda watched wolf creek but not really)
43) I have never met either of my grandfathers
44) I have freckles (lots of them)
45) I grew up on a cattle farm
46) I first drove a car when i was about 11 or 12
47) I drive a manual
48) At times i am scared of heights and the dark (it really depends on situations)
49) I dont understand drag queens. Well i understand it but it doesn't really interest me.
50) I'm glad i started this blog

So i did get to 50 even if it took some time. A big thank you to everyone who reads my blog. If you have any questions just ask. i'll try to answer them as best i can

Thank you
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Tommy

Brisbanite

So i've found another blogger from brisbane.

Everyone has to go and look at cool charlie loves his life (there's a link at the side)

So he's from brisbane. And he goes to uni. And he studies in the same (admittedly broad) field as me. So we seem to have a fair bit in common which is pretty cool.

His blog is pretty new so go have a look at it and leave plenty of comments.

In other news
I still dont know what to do about tonight. I mean i'd like to go out but you have no idea how nervous/scared i am. I've never been to the beat before and i'm a naturally shy person. When i went to the wickham i just sat at the edge of the dancefloor and didn't say anything all night. I was so freaked out. Well not freaked out but it was all very new to me and my heart was going so fast. But having my arse grabbed did freak me out a bit. Yeah, maybe i should make up an excuse and we can go another time. I dont know. I do like phil and we are seeing each other tuesday so maybe i should just wait till then to see him. :$

Oh and i always attract the weird guys on manhunt :(

I'm scared

So i've never been to the beat before. The beat is like the gay club in brissie btw.
So i've never been to the beat before and now phil has asked me to go tomorrow night. Well tonight actually given how late i'm writing this. And he helped me pick out an outfit via webcam but i dont know if i'll go. He said he was going with friends so i dont want to interrupt or interfere or be a burden. I've never been there before and i'm really scared about going. It's not like i'm attractive and i cant dance. And the thing is because phil is having pre drinks at a friends place i'd have to meet him there. And that scares me. what happens if he doesn't turn up. what happens if people i know are in the valley and pass me lining up to get into the beat. If i had someone to go with i'd be fine. But i'm really going there alone. I have no one to have pre-drinks with. No one to sit with me on the train. No one to stand with me in line. Heck i dont even know if i'll be able to find the beat or phil. Oh, and it would be at like 11.30pm. which is pretty early but still. I'd be on a late night train by myself. He suggested i go with some one. But who. I dont really have anyone to take me to the beat besides him. he suggested bronco but i dont think that'll happen. I just wish things were easier.

BTW i think i know how i feel about phil.

Slutty

Another random title. I'm feeling a bit unmotivated

He likes me ... I think

So i was talking to phil again last night. We talk (msn) pretty much everynight and still manage to have good conversations. And i think he likes me. And i'll tell you why. I told him i was thinking of taking another day off work soon cause it's turning my brain into mush. And then i was like maybe it could coincide with our movie marathon. And then i told him i was thinking of taking friday off. And he was that means i have to wait a whole week to see you (HINT!!! (maybe)) then he told me i should take tuesday off so we could watch movies monday night and i said i'll see what i can do. Then he said he missed talking to me the other night when he was at his friends (HINT!!!(maybe)). That made me blush, which i told him. Then we talked a bit more and it was kinda late so i told him i was going to bed and he said goodnight sweetie! (HINT!!!(maybe)). Then i asked him when i became sweetie and he said goodnight non-descript term of endearment and i said goodnight sweetie.

So i think he likes me but i've been wrong before. And i'm still not overly sure how i feel about him. Anyway, i'm trying not to think about it otherwise i will stuff it(?) up.

Also a big shoutout to princess who i've now told about this blog. He's the only friend i've told and i sent him a link to my blog because we dont get to talk as much as i like. He said i need to talk about him more :P

And thanks to everyone that left comments on my last post. If you haven't done so already it would be great if you could.

Thats all Folks!

I wanted to post a rick astley video here but i couldn't find one to embed. meh

BIG FAT PENIS

Bet that got your attention. Unfortunately, for you, the title has absolutely nothing to do with today's post :P

Quick Question

How did you find my blog?

I'm really curious as to how different people stumbled upon my miniscule corner of the internet. I'd also really like to know what your first impression were and why you decided to keep reading.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME

If you're lucky i'll give you something :P

P.S. I'm typing this on my brand new computer. YAY!!

Pussywillow

Bonus points (or something similar) if you can guess which movie the title of this post comes from.

So my life is pretty boring hence the random title. Worked again today. BLERGH!!

My laptop is seriously falling apart. I dont know where all these screws are coming from but they keep appearing so i'm getting a new one. I've already decided which one i'm going to get and tomorrow is late night shopping so i'm going to go down to the shop and have a look. It's going to be a compaq so i hope it's a good one.

Ummm. still not sure how i feel abou phil :S

I'm still not sure about the design of my blog. I keep changing it but i dont know. I went back to the black background but i'm not sure about what colour to keep on the blog. I did the picture behind the blog title but i dont know if i'll keep it.

So yeah. Boring

OH. And my brother is currently sitting in the middle of the loungeroom shaving his legs. And i'm the gay one (apparently i have grinch legs :$)

I Survived

I survived Australia Day. My skin has returned to normal after spending all day submerged in water. And apparently we got to 39/40 degrees today, HOT (about 104 farenheit). So i finished the bottle of rum from the picture in the last post. I had a great BBQ lunch and listened to TripleJ's Hot 100. I liked the top 10 but some of them were a bit unexpected. We all knew mumford and sons would win it, even though i'm not a huge fan of the song (I didn't vote so i cant really complain). I completely forgot about lily allen and hilltop hoods but i'm glad they made it in. I'm so pleased that bluejuice made it in the top 10, and florence and the machine and lisa mitchell. I'm not overly fond of art vs science but i guessed that they would be up there (although i'll admit i didn't expect them to get 2nd). This is the first year that i've actually listened to the whole thing from 100 (well 101 this year - another bluejuice song) to 1. I love that flight of the concords got three songs in and i had to laugh everytime the presenters mentioned dicks on the dancefloor.



In other news, I should mention how much i love sport (hello, i'm australian). I'm currently watching the Australian Open. As usual there are no australians actually left. I really wanted Sam Stosur to make it further but she did well. I dont really care about Leyton Hewitt. Oh, and Andy Murray = *drool*
So I love sport. Love watching it and love playing it. I do, however, suck at sport. Most of the time I just play to make up numbers. I know i never excel at any of them but i still have fun. I haven't really played organised sport since i moved to brissie about two years ago but i have played a lot of different sports, to varying degrees of success. Here's a list for you
~cricket
~indoor cricket
~rugby league
~netball
~tennis
~AFL
~dodgeball (yes it counts, it has to for the amount i played)
~Golf
~Touch
~lawn bowls
~Volleyball
~Newcombe (I dont think this one really counts)
~ultimate disc
~swimming (I dont think this one should count but i'll mention it)

So yeah. My favourite sports teams are the Gold Coast Titans and the Brisbane Lions. They're in different codes so it's alright.


In case you hadn't noticed i changed my design of the blog and my tag line thingy. I dont really know what i think of this design. I might change it back still. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

P.S. I'm kinda embarrased about putting up my bonds picture. I think i might delete it

Australia Day

Happy Australia Day.

Today is Australia Day. It is celebrated every year on the 26th of January. It commemorates the colonisation of Australia OR the day the europeans stole Australia from the Aborigines (it's the same thing from different perspectives). I'm very pleased because Australia Day is a public holiday so i get to relax all day. Today i will be sitting in our little kiddies pool listening to triple J's Hottest 100. And BBQ for lunch which is always fun.

Given that it's Australia Day i thought i'd post some pictures/facts/videos about this great country of mine.


This is my Australia Flag Cape. You pretty much have to wear an australian flag at some point on Australia Day. It's an unwritten rule.


Bundaberg Rum - A personal favourite of mine


Vegemite - It's a bit of an aquired taste but i love it. Especially with grilled cheese


These are my thongs (or double pluggers). I pretty much wear them everyday when i'm at uni. PLease note - they are not called flip flops, sandals, jandals or any other name besides thongs (or double pluggers).


Me in my Bonds. Very Australian (even though they are made in china now)


Now for some facts about Australia
~Australia is the greatest country on earth (this is more personal opinion but i think it's fact)
~Australia's colours are green and gold
~Australia's highest point is Mount Kosciusko at just over 2000m (not very high in other words)
~Australia is the driest inhabited country on earth
~Australia was the second country to give women the right to vote
~Australia's national anthem is called Advance Australia Fare
~Australia was originally a penal settlement (mainly petty theft)
~Australia is home to the worlds only 2 monotremes - the echidna and platypus
~Emu's and Kangaroo's cannot walk backwards and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason
~Australian's eat emu's and Kangaroo's (I like kangaroo but have never tried emu)
~Australia is home to the worlds deadliest marine creature, spider and snake
~Australia was the first country to beat the americans at the america's cup (sailing)
~The melbourne cup is also known as the race that stops a nation (its a horse race and i've never lost money on it).
~the capital of australia is Canberra
~the 25th of april is a very important day in Australia, it is known as ANZAC Day

Now for some videos




No amount of sam kekovich can make me like lamb chops. And i dont think any of you will get the football joke about sharing what you find in pubs unless you're australian but it's funny.

Pretty Cool Cat

So i chatted to my friend phil as usual last night. And we just had a normal conversation till this bit of it. I pretty much copied this directly out of the msn window

Tommy says:
hey can i ask you a question
Phil says:
Sure thing ^^
Tommy says:
you have to answer honestly
but how do you think of me?
honest answer remember
Phil says:
You think I don't always answer honestly? =/
Tommy says:
well i'm sure you do
Phil says:
Haha, I do >.<. Lying is a sin. When people sin, baby Jesus cries .
Tommy says:
lol
Phil says:
Well, metaphorical baby Jesus cries xD.
And I've told you! I think you're a pretty cool cat >.<
Tommy says:
yes i know that
god this is going to sound stupid
do you think of me as a friend?
or what
Phil says:
LOL.
Yeah man. We're mates =].
Why - don't you?
Tommy says:
i do
i was just curious
as to wat your thoughts were
Phil says:
Haha, I know you wouldn't have said 'I do' if I didn't xD.
Which is why you asked. The safer option ^^
Tommy says:
lol
Phil says:
Safer than proclamation, I mean
Tommy says:
i do think of you as a friend
Phil says:
Haha, excellent .
Tommy says:
yeah
:$
anyways
Phil says:
Haha, yeah man.
TommyMannuem says:
hmmm

Phil says:
I like it how you didn't really protest what I just said xD.
I know your games.
xD.
Tommy says:
what games
Phil says:
Haha, well not 'games' as such.
Tommy says:
lol
Phil says:
But I'm sure you get my drift >.<
TommyMannuem says:
nope
not really

i suck at reading signals remember
kinda why i asked

Phil says:
Haha, nah man. I reckon you're craftier than you are letting on at the moment xD.
Tommy says:
really
how so
Phil says:
In many different ways.
Which I shall not elaborate on, for you are aware of them too xD.
Tommy says:
lol
ok

anyways
sorry if that was awkward
Phil says:
Haha, nah man! That's perfectly fine, hey!
In all honesty, I don't know if I've made my mind up >.<
Tommy says:
ok
me either
Phil says:
See, I was totally right just then xD.
Tommy says:
:$
now i feel stupid
Phil says:
That's okay, man. I know you like me. I just have to decide whether the feeling's mutual, is all.
Tommy says:
well i like you
but i dont know how much
if that makes sense
wait how do you know i like you
Phil says:
It's pretty obvious >.<
Tommy says:
really
:$
Phil says:
Yeah man.
I can tell xD.
Tommy says:
how?
so i can hide things better
Phil says:
Haha, some things you just can't hide.
Or maybe I'm incredibly intuitive?
Tommy says:
maybe
Phil says:
Nah, I am when I'm looking for something. And I was conscious of that, so yeah.
Tommy says:
so you were looking for something?
Phil says:
That was a bad choice of words.
Tommy says:
yeah
Phil says:
Ummmmmm. When I'm conscious of someone who might be hiding something.
Tommy says:
ahhh
ok
we can change the topic if you want
Phil says:
Haha, it's cool, man ^^
I'm not as uncomfortable as you are, I bet xD.
Tommy says:
yeah
i really suck at this stuff
:$
Phil says:
Haha, I know .
But you have other strengths, so all is well =]
Tommy says:
really
thanks i guess
HOMG i just realised that you agreed with me sucking

Phil says:
Haha, get your mind out of the gutter! xD
Tommy says:
lol
you get your mindout of the gutter
i was talking about me sucking with guys
i mean dealing with guys and talking to them
and stuff
god i suck

Phil says:
Haha, you ain't foolin' nobody, G.
Tommy says:
lol
apparently not
you're just to smart for me
Phil says:
Lol, sif. You're doing engineering. I'm doing education. I think that that means you're smarter xD.
Tommy says:
yeah but i've failed some things
ad you're much better at social things than i am
Phil says:
Haha, well I have to be a teacher, you're forgetting. And teachers MUST be sociable creatures ^^
Engineers - not so much.
Tommy says:
yeah
i guess
now you're the one being coy

Phil says:
Haha, how was that coy?!
Tommy says:
you totally are
i not that stupid
even i can tell you are being coy
Phil says:
LOL!
That doesn't make sense!
Tell me EXACTLY where I was being coy?
And I didn't call you coy xD. Or even imply it, for that
matter ^^
At least, I don't think I did? =/
Tommy says:
well you kinda did with the playing games comment
but anyways
i feel really stupid now
maybe we should change the topic
Phil says:
LOL! That wasn't being coy! That was totes being like... mysterious and subtle.
Tommy says:
lol
what do you think coy is
isn't that coy
Phil says:
Coy means shy xD.
Tommy says:
oh
woops

Phil says:
LOL! You're such a dork ^^
Tommy says:
you are

Phil says:
Nuh-uh!
TommyMannuem says:
yeh-ha
!!
Phil says:
I'm PRETTY SURE you're wrong xD.
Tommy says:
i know you are you said you se but what am i
wow!! that wasimmature
Phil says:
Indeed it was ^^
Tommy says:
lol
anyways
how about a new topic
Phil says:
Sure thing xD.
Tommy says:
i think i've made this awkward eough for tonight
Phil says:
Haha, I'm not awkward at all, man .
Tommy says:
lol
you're not awkward
the conversation was a little awkward
Phil says:
Perhaps it was. I didn't find it overly awkward, though xD.
So yeah, when's this movie night thing happening?


So the convo continued for quite a bit after that but that bit didn't really help me. I still dont know how he feels about me. And i still dont know how i feel about him. Alright so i might have given my thoughts away a bit when i took my shirt off in front of him. But yeah. Maybe we'll work things out by our movie night. Maybe he'll make the first move on me, considering he knows that i am practically incapable of making the first move.

SEX

This is the third recount about my life changing couple of past days. I didn't really do anything saturday. I just kinda lazed around the house and had "me time". four lots of me time in fact. I also had a, ummm, sexual thing saturday night but i dont know if i should talk about that. What do you guys think?

My Sister

So this is my second recount of the past couple of (life changing) days

FRIDAY (evening)

So i got home from my epic day of epicness with phil. I kind of stuffed around for a bit but then my sister rang. we had a bit of a generic conversation. Talked about my life and the house she's buying and stuff. Then she asked me if everything was alright and if i needed to tell her anything. Now i know my mother mentioned something but i just didn't feel like telling her. So i said nothing was wrong and that was about it. Then about 5 minutes later my mother rang me, in tears. She said all this stuff like how the family is falling apart and i have to tell my sister and all this other stuff. Some of it was to do with me some of it was to do with my sister and older brother and my mums visit not long ago. So i got off the phone to my mum and rang my sister back. So i rang my sister back and just flat out told her i was gay (i might have been a bit blunt about it). She got a bit upset and asked mainly the same stuff my mum did. She cryed and took it worse than my mum so yeah. I got of the phone and my mum rang me back. She said i wasn't on the phone long and asked what i said, etc.

So it turns out my mother was having some problems with my sexuality. She was overly worried and thinking about stereotypes and what not. i assured her i have no interest in getting a piercing, or tattoo, or fashion. I dont want to dress in womens clothes and i'm not going to be prancing down the street. My mum doesn't think i'm effemanant (female) enough to be gay. She also asked me if i'd ever been with a girl. I said no. She asked me how i knew if i was gay if i've never been with a girl. This is when my brother came down to my room. I guess he knew something was happening and came to check on me. He walked in when i asked my mum if she'd ever been with a woman and how did she know she wasn't a lesbian. My brother asked if i was alright and if i wanted him to take the phone and talk to her. I said it was fine and kept talking to mum. Not long after i got off the phone to mum and had a great conversation with my brother. We talked about me coming out to my mum. And my gay friends and my sex life (to a certain extent). This was stuff we hadn't talked about before. I kinda explained the idea of tops and bottoms. He asked me if i was offende by the word faggot and said he'd try to remove it from his vocabulary. This conversation was happening while we were cooking dinner. So just as we finished getting dinner ready the phone rang again. I went to pick it up but my brother said he'd get it. We both knew it was my mum. So my brother answered the phone and suprise suprise it was my mum. My brother had this really long conversation with her and i didn't hear all of it but i heard some things my brother said and they were really great. He was so great and i think my mum understands a bit better now. After he got off the phone to my mum he called my sister. Now i know my sister was upset but i know that some of it was because of her boyfriends sister. Apparently she's a lesbian but my sister doesn't really think so. She thinks that she is making it harder for people like me to come out but yeah. So my brother talked to my sister and i think everything will be alright now. So that was pretty much friday for me.

Epic Day of Epicness

So my life has changed a bit over the past couple of days. I'd just like to thank everyone for their comments. I came out to my mum on thursday so i thought i'd catch people up on the past couple of days.

FRIDAY (day)

So i woke up early on friday as per usual. I got ready early and went to centrelink at about 8.30am. Now centrelink can be quite annoying. I got there and they told me i couldn't do what i had come to do. I need to do it over the phone. GAHH!! I was like why the fuck does it say i can come in and do it then. So i got slightly annoyed at centrelink but just left it.

So I drove over to Phil's place to pick him up for our epic day of epicness. Now we've never meet before so i was a little nervous. He's cute and kinda hot in an nerdy/dorky kinda way. So we drove to southbank talking bout lots of things. When we got there we went to GOMA (Gallery of modern art). Now i'm probably not the best person to go to an art gallery with. I mean i like art but some of this stuff was stupid. I probably annoyed the shit out of phil with my talking too. So we went to GOMA then we walked over the river into the city. Phil took me to his favourite tea shop which was interesting. I got a mango jelly juice. Not really my thing but good none the less. Then we went to borders so he could finish the last four pages of a book he was reading. He couldn't find it so we left. Then we went to myers and looked at some clothes. I have no fashion sense so he chose some things out for me. He managed to get me to try on skinny jeans, which was interesting. I've never worn skinny jeans before, mainly cause i dont think i have the body for it. OK, so i'll admit they were kinda comfy but it took so long to get them on and off.I had trouble getting them over my heel when i was putting them on then i had to sit down to get them off again. Apparently they looked good on me but i dont know where i'd where them. And apparently they could be tighter. I was just like ok :S ( i dont think i could go tighter, i'm not that confident). I also tried on some shirts and found out that green and blue look good on me but yellow doesn't. After that we decided to get back to epicness and went to the casino. This was also a first for me (i'm like the worst 19 year old ever). So we went and played the pokies for a bit. I won some money so i only ended up spending a dollar which was good. We had a bit of a look around the casino then we went and got lunch and ate it in the botanical gardens. Very relaxing. Then we walked back over to southbank and just had a chat. Oh, and i saw one of my friends from uni, twice, that could have been a lot more awkward. So yeah, we talked about lots of things and had a good day. It wasn't overly epic but it was still fun. I think we're just going to end up as friends. But there were a couple of times i wished that we would kiss. But i dont know. We've already organised our next day together. We're going to have a little movie marathon (some like it hot, sweeny todd, district 9, wall-e) and he's going to teach me to knit and rap in russian. I dont know when it will actually happen but hopefully soon. So I dropped phil home and then came back to my house.

My Brother

This is just a quick post to say that i'm now out to most of my immediate family and my older brother is the bestest brother in the entire world

I Sit Here Crying

At the moment i am sitting here crying. I have just come out to my mother and i cant stop crying. I dont even know why i'm crying. We were talking on the phone for the second time tonight and it was just the usual stuff. We talked about money and cleaning the house and uni and it went around in cicles a bit. She told me that i need to have a social life and she's worried i'm not happy and everyone says its so hard to talk to me and she says i never tell anyone anything. And i just told her i was gay. and she said are you serious and i said yes. And she said ok. She said it she wasn't suprised and she'd expected it. The thing that seemed to worry her the most seemed to be the pornography. Well not even the pornography but me looking at the pornography. About a million times she said i need to stop looking at pornography otherwise i might click on underage picture and i'll be branded for life. I'm like i'm not that stupid it wont happen. She asked me if i'd been a "relationship". i knew what she meant and i said yes but lied a bit. I told her i'd only been with one guy and it was only a few times. She asked me how i met him and i said i met him at uni(kinda a lie. I dont think my mum needs to know about my sex life that much. The guy i referred to is real and we were together briefly and it was a mutual end but we didn't actually have anal sex). She asked about sex and i assured her that i always used a condom and i dont want to put myself in danger so i would never do anything stupid. She then asked if i was the man or the woman in the realtionship (this annoyed me a little but i just let her go) I told her the truth. I've only ever been the man. She also asked why i hadn't told her when she had asked the thousand times before. I told her it was very confusing and i had to be comfortable with myself before i could tell anyone else. She felt a little dissapointed that i took until now to tell her given that i knew she'd be alright with it. I think it was around this point that i started crying. I tried to hide it but my mum knew. I cant remember everything we talked about. She asked me when i had decided and i said you dont decide i just am. She asked me if i had considered suicide and i said never. She told me that she thinks i should see a counseller, not because i have a problem but because i need to talk to someone about my confusions. She pointed out the fact that i'm not really feminine and asked what i felt when i saw someone like W (one half of a gay couple that are family friends) who is over the top gay. She asked me if i had feelings for my friend james and i told her i didn't and that i've never thought about my friends like that. We talked about coming out to my friends and she asked if she could tell her best friend. She asked if i wanted M & W's number so i could talk to them. I said no because i wouldn't know what to talk about. She talked about relationships and it cant just be about sex. Then she asked me if at 70 when i looked back on my life if i would be happy with it and not being able to have my own family. I told her i could still have a family and she said yes but its a lot harder. We talked about predjudice and how it could affect my job chances and life. She talked about gay bashings. I told her i probably wouldn't come out to any of my uni friends. They dont need to know. We talked about coming out to my dad and she said she could tell him but she'd prefer if i did it. She said he was the most reasonable and understanding person in the world. One of the last things she said was that she wasn't ashamed of me and she thinks you're born this way but she was sorry if there was anything that her or my dad had done that had influenced me or made me turn out this way. I told her i was born this way and they were great parents. Then we said goodbye and i told her i loved her.

So i've just stopped crying and my mum just rang again. She said that she just wanted to check if i was alright (probably because if the crying). She said she had told my dad because she didn't think i was up to it now. We talked about some more stuff like telling my 2 little brothers and my sister. I have planned to tell my sister but i think i'll do it tomorrow.

So thats it for now. I'm definately on my way

P.S. I'm meeting phil for the first time tomorrow for our "epic day of epicness" which should be fun. I'll let you know how it goes

Man-date (and other random things)

So last night i went on a man-date with my friend Bronco. This was the first time we'd actually met so i was a bit nervous but i had lots of fun. He picked me up and we went and had these massive burgers at garden city then we went to see Bran Nue Dae. It was a pretty good movie but that ending was like WTF?! Now i'm glad is was just a man-date and not a date date because i dont think i could have handled that.
(Man-date : A date between two male friends with a plutonic relationship, see also bromantic :P) We got along really well and chatted about tonnes of different things so it was a good night.

In other news a couple of posts ago i mentioned that some guy wanted me to be his "master". Thats not going to happen because that guy is fucking weird. I was willing to give it a try to a certain extent but then he mentioned tasers and whipping and i was like "Oh Fuck". The stuff he was saying made me want to vomit. I dont think i'll ever talk to him again.

I need a new computer. The one i have is falling apart

I've come to the decision that my mum will know i am of the male persuasion by the end of the month at the latest. I want her to know and i think it will make some things easier. Unfortunately i kinda have to make a big deal out of it because she's asked me about my sexuality before and i denied it.

I've made a new friend who shall go by the name phil. We get along really well and have big long conversations on msn. It's just easy to chat to him, he's around my age and goes tothe same uni as me. I think i'm meeting him friday. We've kinda planned an epic day of epicness so i'll let you know how it goes. He also wants to take me to the beat sometime. I've never been before so it should be interesting. (the beat is like the main gay club in brisbane)

Work is boring and really busy.

So thats my life at the moment. I'll keep you updated

I'm Single

So i made the decision and broke up with my boyriend (sexy abs) yesterday. I felt terrible while i was doing it but i think it was the right thing to do. It just wasn't really working. I kept apologising and everything but he seemed alright with it. I told him he was a great guy and i'd still like to be friends and maybe we could try again later. So yeah. I'm back on the market

I'd like to thank everyone for their comments. I'm sorry i haven't answered many of your questions. I'll try to get around to it. Feel free to ask me questions and i really will try to get to them

So Confused

I'm so confused right now. Now i'm thinking that i dont want to break up with him. God this sucks. Why cant things just be plain and simple. It ould make things so much easier. I dont even know if i am going to see him today. maybe i should just break up with him and we can try again a bit later, like after he's 18. then again i dont know

:$



In other news apparently some guy wants me to be his master so thats kinda interesting. so yeah

Sorry

First of all i want to say sorry. I realise my last post was a little vague and erratic so i'm sorry for that. But thank you for all the support. I shouldn't post when i'm in a crappy mood like yesterday.

I'll try and clear things up for you now.

I'm thinking of breaking up with sexy abs. So i've been feeling a little all over the shop lately and i just dont know how i feel about him. I mean he's nice and everything but i dont know. I dont really seem to have any sort of connection there anymore. We didn't see each other yesterday like i was hoping for which really sucked cause i was hoping to talk to him. Instead i had to bring it up with him on facebook. Which wasn't ideal. I told him i was really confused and i wasn't sure how i felt about him and us. He asked me what i wanted and i said i dont know. Then he asked me what i thought i wanted. And i couldn't answer him. I dont even know what i think i want (if that makes sense). I apologised lots of times and said i'd really like to see him today just to talk things over. I'm 80% sure i''ll dump him today but i dont know. I just feel like i'll see him and want to kiss him all over again. I'm so confused. Why can't life be easy. Another reason i want to dump him is because i thought about cheating on him the otehr day. I very seriously considered it. But i didn't do it. I dont want to be that person, i dont want to be that sort of guy. But i was more than ready for it and thats just as bad as cheating on him. I'm just so confused. Maybe i wasn't ready for a boyfriend. Maybe we've just run our natural course. God why can't things be easier. His situation hasn't helped this any either. I dont know what to do. And if we break up how do i do it. I've never broken up with anyone before. I wouldn't know where to start. He really is a nice guy and i dont want to hurt him. Hopefully we can see each other today and sort things out. Now i'm more sure that i want to break up with him. God dammit

I did talk to a couple of friends about it but thank you for all your offers. I'm still waiting for my 10 comments on my help me post but :P

I'm a Terrible Person

I'm a terrible person. a terrible fucking person. I'm so confused right now. I lead a crappy life. why can't everything just make sense and be easy. FUCK!!!

Help Me

So i'm thinking about the design of my blog and i'm thinking about changing it. But i dont know if i should. I was thinking about maybe putting some pictures up. But yeah.
I'm also thinking about changing my display picture but i dont know if i should. And i dont know what i should change it too.

So any advice or ideas would be welcome. I have 20 followers (yay! thank you) so i should at least get 10 comments. OR ELSE :P

Give me an oscar already

So i pulled a sickie at work again yesterday and finished at 11:30. My performance (title reference :P) must have been better than i thought because i even had the production manager and owner convinced. I'm pretty sure i'll stick out a full day today though.

I've still been thinking about coming out a lot. I've decided that sometime soon i'm just going to ring my mum and tell her that i'm gay. Then she can tell my dad. I dont think i will tell my 2 little brothers either. I dont think they're mature enough yet. Also i have no idea how/when to come out to my friends. The thing is i guess i dont really have any super close friends. I also have different groups of friends. I have my uni friends, Who i dont think i'll ever tell. I know them and they're nice but i dont think they'll accept it. the thing is i see them everyday so :$. I also have my friends from high school. i dont see them as often as i'd like but there are a few of them down here. I'd really like to tell my friend james first. I'm probably closest to him but i dont know how he'll take it. Well i have ideas and i'm pretty sure he'll start by saying WTF?!. I also have my gay friends who i've met through manhunt so i dont need to tall them. Anyways, i'll keep you updated.

i wanked three times yesterday but i think thats acceptable because i was super horny. i'm not going to say where stuff went but it was very messy.

I'm pretty sure i'm going to see my boyfriend this weekend. He seems really up for it and my house is going to be empty all weekend (thank you Big Day Out). I told him to let me know when he's available and we'll do whatever he wants to do. i also told him that if he comes over he should bring his speedos so we can relax in our kiddies pool (i also want to see him in speedo's *blush*).

i also want to give a big shoutout to Aaron from beautifool chaos. He's not blogging at the moment but he's still around. When i started blogging i certainly didn't expect to find anyone else in brissie. Well i've been chatting to Aaron a bit and it turns out he works at the uni i attend. he's pretty nice too. I suggest you go read all his old posts. He mentioned the other night that he might come back to blogging so keep an eye out for him. Also he found me on an internet "dating" site the other night but i didn't know it was him. I wont tell you what his user name is but i will tell you that he has some nice pictures. From what i've seen.

Also, I've been trying to help out my friend bronco. He's been having some guy troubles lately so i've been trying to keep him in a good mood. I told him that i used to have a little crush on him and he said he used to have a little crush on me. This took me by suprise because i never thought he was interested. What can i say, i'm bad at reading signals. Anyways, i still kinda have a little crush on him though i like sexy abs much much more.

Well thats what has been happening. Sorry its a bit all over the shop.

P.S. I have slept a little better lately. I have the fan beside my bed on full bore and i might have slept naked once or twice (thanks Dzyan ;) ). Anyways. That's me

Coming Out

So i've been thinking about coming out a lot lately. I thought about coming out at work today. I was thinking about coming out in the shower the other morning (what would happen i mean, not coming out while i was in the shower). I thought about it before i went to sleep the other night. So i've been thinking about it a lot and i though i'd do the story so far.

So currently only a few people i care about know i like guys. So friends i've made off the internet know, obviously, and my older brother who i live with knows (and his girlfriend but i dont really count her). And this is how i came out to my brother.

So i came home one day in late november. I think I was coming home from uni and it was kinda late (during final exams). Well I walked into the loungeroom and my brother was using my computer (which he does a lot and it annoys me immensly). Well i walked in and i knew straight away it was going to happen. I dont know how i just did. So he was on my computer getting photos for his 21st. And I had certain pictures on there so i tried to get him off there but i still knew it was going to happen. So things were normal for a while. We ate dinner and had a chat and what not. Then after dinner he came out of the kitchen and he's like I want to talk to you about something. He said he wanted me to tell the truth and be myself. He had brought up my sexuality before when he found a rather homoerotic video on my computer. I denied it and blamed it on a computer virus that downloaded random files. I dont think he believed me.
Anyway, He brought the topic up but i dont remember everything that was said. I remember the main points. He said i was still his brother no matter what and he'd support me. I wasn't really expecting this because i know my brother. He can be rascist and bigotted and pretty mean (not my ideal choice as the first person to come out to). He also said to be careful cause you have a higher chance of getting STI's if you have anal sex (i dont know if this is actually true but i just went along with it and told him i alway use a condom). I told him i was a bisexual. He ased questions about how long it had been happening and if it was just happening because i was 19 and still a virgin (i actually lost my virginity at 17 but he doesn't know that). I told him some half truths, to kind of ease him into it i guess. Ummm. I'm really having a hard time remembering what we talked about. I know i was chatting to a guy on facebook while this was happening. We'd been on a couple of dates then he broke it off then he told me he still liked me.

Back to my story. I told him i was bi. And he asked me if i was just saying that cause i was to scared to say i was gay. Which i kinda was but i was still confused (i dont know how kids can be so sure of themselves at like 13 :$). I said i still thought about girls. Which i do sometimes but its kinda rare. He was like OK you're bi but eventually you're going to have to choose if you're gay or straight. Being bi is fine while you're young but you'll have to choose. I was like i'm pretty sure being bi isn't like that but i will at some point end up in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship but i can still be bi. I can't really remember anything else but i do remember one of the last things he said to me was i need to respect myself. He said he'd seen things he probably shouldn't have seen (pictures of me in minimal or no clothing) and it was probably his fault (it was. I've told him a million times to use his computer or buy a new one if his doesn't work) but i need to respect myself.

And thats pretty much my only coming out story so far. I kinda listened to him and deleted my pictures off the internet (though i know they're still out there in some form. I was smart enough not to show my face) and deleted my xtube account (yes i had one. It was my first real foray into the gay world and it gave me some self confidence. Good comments can do that) and yeah. He asked me if i wanted to tell his girlfriend or if he should do it. And i was like can we just wait a while you're the first person i've told and he was like no i made her talk to her parents about her sister so i'm going to tell her. And i was like fine you can tell her i'm going to bed.

My sexuality hasn't been mentioned since though my brothers girlfriend did tell me that if i wanted to talk she was there. She was pretty drunk and also said i could punch her in the face so i'm not sure if she meant it. In any case we haven't talked about it.

About a fortnight after that i went to visit my sister on the sunshine coast for a couple of days. I had decided i was going to tell her and i had it all planned out in my head. I was going to wait till just before i left then i was going to say i liked guys. I thought about it so much and i knew it was coming up and i was so nervous, i kept on going to the toilet. I kept on thinking different scenarios over in my head then when it came time to leave i couldn't do it. I just could bring myself to say that i had something to tell her. That i liked guys. I dont know what it was but i just got back in my car and drove back to brissie. I kinda felt ashamed of myself for not telling her but i just couldn't do it.

Well that's the story so far. Sorry if it's a bit all over the place but it was kinda hard for me to write it. I'll keep you updated.

I forgot a title

So i woke up really early again and tossed and turned in bed for about an hour before actually doing anything. I faked sick at work today and got home at about 1.30pm. I really just didn't feel like working. Anyway, I'm getting kinda excited because i might be seeing my boyfriend this weekend. I haven't seen him since the 20th of december so it's been nearly a month. I can't wait. i just want to hold him in my arms and spend time with him. Our relationship has been pretty tame to this point as we haven't really done much. Probably due to a lack of opportunity and place. Anyways i'm really hoping that everything comes together and i'll see him and his sexy abs.

In other news we're back to the summer weather in brissie. The flies are out in full force and it is meant to be above 30 degrees celcius all week. I dont mind it now but if it gets up to above 35 i will not be happy. I kinda wish i had a pool right now.

not quite yet

And just when i thought things were starting to go back to normal (what the hell is normal anyway). So my brother is still annoying the shit out of me. And there's still a bit of a standoff with mum. Its not as obvious because we live about three hours away from our parents but it's still there. So my brother had a "discussion" with my mum tonight. I think he's actually on the phone to her now. (i'm trying not to get involved). Anyway they are kinda being civil to each other but they're still disagreeing on everything. I can kinda see bith sides of the argument though i will say that, even though our mum has our best interests at heart, she can at times be quite controlling at times. Then again my brother can be quite rude and arrogant. Unfortunately i dont see it ending soon but i hope it does. I'm still not sleeping well and i woke up even earlier today (3.40am) and tossed and turned for about 2 hours.. All in all my day was kinda busy but boring.

Please note i do have a dad but he doesn't really get involved either. He's more the silent type so yeah

thats all.

5 poofs

There's no real reason for this post other than i'm bored and and i think Tim Minchin is pretty good

:)

So i'm off my man-rags now. I really like this song and i've been hearing it on the radio a lot lately. So yay

Pleasant Suprises

So i had a bit of a crappy sleep last night and woke up at 4.30am this morning. Now i usually wake up early but even that was a bit early for me. So i decided to fill in my time by reading some blogs. I was pleasantly suprised when i found out me and my blog had been mentioned on a couple of other blogs. I didn't expect it and it made me feel pretty good. The fact that someone likes my blog enough to mention it on their blog is pretty awesome. So thanks to Dzyan and the other blogger i can't remember (let me know if it's you). It was a very nice suprise.

Another pleasant little suprise happened the other day. A guy (not my boyfriend) called me a stud. Now this isn't a word i'd associate with myself, and if you saw me you'd know why. I'm not at all studly. I'm tall and gangly and awkward and i have no muscles. But anyway, it was a good suprise. We were chatting online for the first time just talking about ourselves to each other. And he said i sounded like a stud. I was like, you're just being nice. And then he said No, you sound pretty perfect to me. Now i dont know if he was just being nice or if he actually meant it but it made me feel pretty good about myself.

I'd like to thank everyone for their comments as they're pleasant little suprises too. I probably make my brother sound worse than he is. I'm sure he has good qualities within him somewhere. Thanks everyone

And i just remembered that today i found out i was born in the chinese year of the horse and this year is meant to be really good for me. Lets hope it's the case and this year gets better

EDIT: The other blog was But Time Makes You Bolder so thanks for that

i hate my brother

My brother has been so annoying since mums visit. He's like you need to clean the kitchen better (apparently he was upset that i didn't put the toaster away. Its a toaster. It gets used every day. It stays on the bench) you need to do this, you need to do that.I'm just like fuck you. You're the reason mum said she wants to commit suicide not me. AND then before he's like you're cooking dinner tonight which i'm alright with (i do it the most anyway). And then he's like you have to make sausages and veggies or steak and vegies. WTF!! I'm the one cooking not you. What if i dont want them. GAHH!!!!!! Anyways, i'm going to make sausages and salad as a bit of a middle ground. I really dont want to fight him cause we get violent. Like him trying to strangle me in the pool christmas before last. Or breaking 2 doors and ending the fight with him banging my head into the kitchen floor while sitting on me.

Why can't he just be a good person

Oh. And another thing. I can hardly get into MY bathroom because him and his stupid slutty girlfriend have all their crap in there. Its like they're doing a months worth of washing at once. I know the washing machine is in my bathroom but do all your dirty clothes and sheets really need to be dumped in a pile in the middle of my bathroom. I have to use it remember.

Sorry for ranting

GAH!!

I fucking hate my laptop right now. It's a piece of shit

Thats all

At The Movies

EDIT: So i wrote this a little while ago but never got round to posting it. Thought now would be a good time cause it's a bit different from my last couple of posts


I love movies. I'm the person that watches a movie then rewatches straight away with the commentary on. I know it's dorky but i do it anyway because that's how much i like movies. I also read a lot of blogs about films.

I got shitloads of DVD's for christmas and watched heaps of movies over the christmas new years break. So my haul from christmas includes:
~Superbad
~Pineapple Express
~Step Brothers
~Meet the Parents
~Meet the Fockers
~Napoleon Dynamite
~Burn After Reading

I also bought myself:
~Batman Begins
~30 Rock - season 3
~Semi-pro

So I watched a lot of movies over my break and they include:

Step Brothers (x2)
So i watched this movie twice in the span of a week. I thought it was hilarious. I can find Will Ferrell a bit annoying at times but i thought this was great. The bit before the end was a bit meh but overall it was very good. Verdict: Watch it

Burn After Reading
This ones a bit different. I thought it was a good movie, very well made. But there was just something about it that i found a little ... i dont know.I wouldn't call it a laugh out loud comedy but it's definately worth a watch. Verdict: Not for everyone

Superbad
I love this movie. I think its great and really funny. Something about it just appeals to me, It's probably because i can recognise the characters (though not really in myself). That whole i love you bit at the end was really good as well. I love that it made them awkward the next day. LOL. Verdict: Watch it

The Hangover
Hilarious. Probably the best comedy of the past year. I love the whole thing, especially Stu's Song. Verdict: Watch it

The Grinch
This is one of my favourite christmas movies. I think it's such a good movie and Jim Carrey is great. I'd say it's a must at christmas time. And i just found out that the little girl in it plays jenny on gossip girl. Wow, she's changed. Verdict: Watch it

District 9
Now I saw this when it was in the movies and i remember loving it then and thinking it was brilliant. I rewatched it again on dvd the other day and i still liked it. Maybe not as much as when i first saw it but it's still great. The special effects are amazing and look so real. I still jumped a little when they cut off his cast and i still laughed a little when i saw that pig at the end. My brother and his girlfriend didn't really like it, I think they were expected big action scenes all the time. My brother complained that nothing happened and his girlfriend kept asking what was going to happen. GAH!! I hate it when people ask questions during movies. Verdict: Watch it

Avatar
So i rewatched Avatar with some of my old highschool friends. I think i liked it better the second time round. It still looks good and i had no problems with the 3D this time. The story is still a bit sucky but meh. It's the biggest movie ever and nothing i say will change that. Verdict: James Cameron doesn't need your money.

I'm pretty sure i saw some others but i can't remember them now (i think die hard 4.0 was one of them). I still haven't got round to seeing Where The Wild Things Are or Clooudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, but i have some new movies i want to see. I want to see Bran Nue Dae. I'm not really into musicals but this one looks good and Geofferey Rush is always good. I also want to see The Hurt Locker at some point but i dont know when that comes out in cinemas here. And I want to see the Fantastic Mr Fox, mainly because i love roahl dahl (i think thats how you spell it).

Sorry about the long post but i told you i love movies. The name of this post is of course a reference to magaret and david who i think are great.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!

My mums visit today was disastorous. It started out well. We (me, my older brother and his girlfriend) met my mum and sister and one of my little brothers for lunch at 12:30. It was going alright but it rapidly went downhill. My mum and my sister left the house at 2.30 in tears. A little bit my fault but mainly my older brothers. They left for about 10 minutes then came back and my mum and my older brother sat in the car and had a big conversation. My sister talked to the girlfriend but i didn't hear that conversation (my mum and sister aren't her hugest fans).I tried to keep out of the way of the whole thing. It's been going on for ages and i just wish it would end. I always end up in the middle of fights and it sucks.

Quickie

Just a quick post because my mum is coming to visit today and the pigsty house i live in needs to be cleaned (seeing as my brother seems incapable of doing it)

My life would be awesome if this were the case in real life.

Last one i promise

So a big thanks to all 12 of my followers. Yay for double digits. It's good to know that some people have stumbled across my blog and had a read (I hope none of them know me. That could be awkward).

Anyway, I've realised that it is probably boring to read about my shitty days at work so i wont be writing about work anymore unless something particularly interesting happens, or you ask me too. But I just want to tell you about what happened at work today. I was called a faggot. Now no one at work knows i like guys. And i know that it wasn't meant to be hurtful. It was a joke but it just sounded so harsh when he said it. I guess i'll just add it to the list of things i've been called at work which currently includes, bitch, snatch, vadge, cunt, and a cantonese word that i can never remember let alone spell (i'm pretty sure it stands for tranny though). Now i know these things may sound a bit harsh but they were all said in good fun, in a joking manner. I've said much of the same things back to my friend that works there. However, this was said by a different guy and it didn't sound quite right. But enough of my bitching.

So that will be my last post about work unless something comes up

DJ Part 3

So this is just going to be a quick post but i thought it deserved its own space.
If you've read some of my older posts you will have heard about DJ. So to cut a long story short DJ lead me on.

So the other night my friend PhD met up with DJ (God help me if any of these people find my blog. They'll all know it's me). And they had sex, which doesn't really bother me, so i think that's a good sign. Apparently DJ is a pretty good kisser but not a great top. And his dick is big, like porn star massive. I already knew this because i had seen a picture/cam but PhD says its bigger than it looks in the picture and it's much thicker (it's probably a good thing i didn't get that close to him). Anyway PhD said he only seems to work and still gave vague, stonewall answers to questions (which i expected). And he had a suprisingly deep voice. Apparently he asked about me but PhD said he couldn't even remember my real name, which shows how much i meant to him. I dont know if PhD will see him again and i dont really care. I no longer have any interest in DJ.

P.S. I did get the vibe that my first meeting with PhD was much better and more exciting, but i dont want to brag.

My downfall and my day

I have lots to talk about but i first i'd like to thank all my new followers and people that have left comments for me. It's a good feeling knowing that someone is reading this. And there are even some aussies which makes me more excited.

Now to my downfall. In my last post i said i was going to try and stop wanking so much. That isn't exactly happening. I've already done it three times today and it's only 4.30pm. Keep in mind i worked from 8am this morning as well. I hardly wanked at all when i went to visit my family for christmas. I've decided that the problem is i have too much time on my hands and the internet. When i went to visit my family i didn't really have any opportunities to wank. It's not really possible when you have a house full of people. Also, my parents can't get the internet which means no instant inspiration. I dont know, I guess i'll just have to try harder not to wank. If that makes sense.

In other news, I finished work a bit early today which was good. But i also kinda got in trouble but i dont give a shit because the guy was stupid and i dont work in his section. Someone asked what i do in one of the comments so i guess i better tell you. I work in a food proceesing plant that makes food for coffee shops all over australia. It's minimum wage and kinda crappy but they're pretty flexible around my uni hours. And i get free lunch everyday which is always a positive.

I got lots of other stuff to write about but i also have real world stuff to do. I'll probably do another post later. Thanks for reading

OMG I just remembered that i saw the hottest guy at work today. He doesn't work for us because no one hot works for us (i'm pretty sure he works next door). I was in the lunchroom when he came in to use the drinks machine. He was very fuckable. Tall, cute, dark hair (there was something about his hair. I dont know what it was but it did it for me), great eyes and a great smile. Oh, and a piercing in his bottom lip. Like over to the side. He would have been early to mid twenties and very hot. And another thing i am the youngest at work by about a decade and you should here how dirty all the other people there are. There's a group of ladies around their 40's. They're married with kids but they always tell dirty jokes and make lots of innuendo and double entendres. It makes work interesting.

P.S. I hope I see that guy again

Random Picking Up and my boring day

So I thought I should do a proper post instead of just the youtube videos. As i'm writing this i'm talking to my friend bronco (though he doesn't know i'm writing this). Some guy just hit on him in queen street mall the other day and now they have a date for tomorrow night. Can you even imagine that. For starters there is no way i'd be brave enough to talk to a hot, cute stranger while shopping. Also i wouldn't consider myself a great flirter. I dont think i've ever been hit on (well maybe once). It's probably cause i'm not that attractive (and dont listen to sexy abs cause he's biased). I can't even imagine what i would do if it actually happpened. I'd probably be a little freaked out. We're also talking about New Years Eve and the fact i drank a whole bottle of vodka. No hangover, no vomit. I didn't even feel drunk. It was kinda awesome.

Anywho

I had a relatively boring day. I realised this morning that i have to stop wanking so much. I really do it too much and its not good. And i take a while to cum as well so it takes up a fair chunk of my time (and not to mention my internet downloads).
Went to work, wasn't a great day. Though i did learn something new which can't hurt. Came home and made a honey, sesame and garlic stir fry for dinner. It turned out better than i expected. I wouldn't say i am an exceptional cook though i do alright. I can do some things really well, like roast. I make a really good roast dinner. The last one was roast kangaroo or maybe it was roast pork, i can't remember. I can also do a pretty good carbonara and some other stuff. My brother and his girlfriend got me the masterchef cookbook for christmas. Which if you seen it is completely pointless. I dont think i'm ever going to make slow cooked pidgeon or roast half pig head (these are seriously some of the recipes).so i made my stirfry and sat down to watch my one of my favourite shows, How I Met Your Mother. It was a repeat but still a good episode. Thats pretty much my entire day. All in all it's relatively boring (although work had some interesting points, there's so much sexual innuendo it's not funny).

So thanks for reading and i'm sorry for rambling. I always want to do proper grammar and punctuation in these things but I kinda forget about it once i start typing. Like I just did with the capital I in the last sentence. :)



OK so one more video can't hurt. I love HIMYM

Metaphor?

I love this video. I think it's hilarious and it makes me laugh everytime

This has to be one of the most disgusting things ever

This guy from work was talking about this so i had to have a look. It may make you vomit. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Yes!!

So I got two new followers AND my first comments today. Which means that someone has actually read this blog. Yes!! *high five*
Anyone can leave a comment for me or ask me a question and i'll try to give you a good answer. I might even do a whole post about it :P

In other news...
~I started back at work today which was alright. The boss is on holidays so my friend is in charge which is good. It means it's a little more relaxed.

~My brother has decided to stop being so cunty and is moving stuff out of his old bedroom. Its still full of crap but at least it's a start. Probably wont be able to move in till next weekend though. The room is kinda disgusting and needs a good clean.

~Bought season 3 of 30 Rock but i still haven't got round to watching it because my computer is a mega-bitch. I'll watch it eventually. I got soo many DVD's for christmas as well so i guess i should watch them at some point too.

~Didn't get to see sexy abs on sunday which was kinda dissapointing. We were both at the same shopping center except he was shopping with his mum. He's not out so i didn't want to push it. It could have been awkward. We did have a good chat on msn later that night though.

Thats all i can think of for now. thanks for reading

P.S. Go and read the blogs of my two new followers. One of them is even newer than mine

So...

So I got up this morning and I was all for writing another post. But now I dont know what to talk about. I have so much stuff going around in my head it's not funny. Where to start...

I've been thinking about christmas and my family a bit. I'm totally the favourite grandchild. My mum's mum loves me. We spent nearly four hours driving in the car together (i picked her up and bought her home for christmas) and I learnt all the family secrets. She thinks her twin sister is an alcoholic. She hates one of her other sisters. She hates her daughter-in-law (my aunt). She hates my little brother. She hates Kevin Rudd and Anna Bligh. We talked about politics a fair bit which we've never really done before. She has gone a little crazy lately but i still love her.

My older brother is pissing me off. He's just so annoying. I live with him and our other housemate has just moved out. So his girlfriend is moving in (not her biggest fan). So the two of them have moved into the main bedroom with the ensuite. And I want to move into his old bedroom. Mine is currently next to the loungeroom/kitchen his old room isn't. But i cant move rooms cause all his shit is still there. I asked him to move it and he was like i'll move it when i get time it's not like anyone new is moving in. And i was like i'm moving in there. And he just said i can't do it now then sat down in front of the TV. GAH!!! I'm thinking i should just get all his shit and dump it in front of his new bedroom door. He wouldn't be able to get out that's for sure. He also has no sense of my privacy and uses my computer which pisses me off endlessly. I hope he doesn't find this blog.

Sexy Abs
Me and my boyfriend had a great chat on the net last night. It was the first time we'd really spoken for 2 weeks seeing as i went home for christmas. we sent the occassional text but my reception wasn't great so we couldn't really talk.
Anyway, We had this rather deep conversation last night and i got kinda emotional. Now i'm not really an emotional person. I'm not someone who cry's a lot. In fact i can't remember the last time i cried. So we were talking about his 18th, which lead to us talking about sex because we can't have sex till he's 18 (I could however go out and find some random chick his age and have consexual sex with her. Thanks a lot for your discriminatary laws QLD government).So 18 is the legal age for sodomy in my state so no sex till he's 18.
Back to my story
I was like have you thought about sex. with me. and he said yes then asked me the same thing. And I said yes. And he asked me what i had thought about. And i told him i had thought about him and his body and lying there in each others arms. And then i said I thought about you fucking me. Now this is a big deal for me and this is where i started to get kinda emotional. I told him that i've never felt this way about anyone else and that he was really special. And i've had sex before but it wasn't really romantic and i've never been a bottom before and i've never really thought about anyone fucking me but i want you to fuck me. And i told him i felt like crying, good tears, because i've never really done anything like this before. and he was like if you want me to do it i will. Because i love you. i told him i would be right back. I had to go away and compose myself. I didn't cry but i thought i might. I came back to our convo and i was like sorry for getting emotional i hope i didn't scare you. and he said it made him feel special and just love me even more. It made me so happy.Then i was like i dont mean to sound rude but you know it wont happen till you're 18. Not that i dont want it to but i dont want to get in trouble. And he said he understood. Then the mood lightened a bit and he said you never know i might be really crap. And i said i dont care. You're my boyfriend and i love you and we'll have a great time when it happens.
Hopefully i get to see him today. We've been going out for just over a month and i've only seen him twice in that time. Is that wierd??

Thats all i can be bothered to write about now i've but i've been thinking about lots of other stuff too. Like coming out, How much my computer sucks, Avatar and lots of other stuff.
Sorry for the spelling/punctuation/grammar and sorry for rambling. Then again i'm pretty sure no one reads this so i'm apologising to no one.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Happy 2010 everyone. I know it's a bit late but I only just got back from visiting my family and they can't get the internet.

I hope everyone had a had a good christmas and a happy new year. I doubt if anyone is actually reading this but if anyone is I hope you have a great 2010 and get everything you want